treasure hunt

1.

I can’t whine

but once I would

only half-wine

being half the wood

and got the chop

and filled with

sod that

doesn’t spill

and planted here

outside this shop

 

2.

I too have suffered

from the grisly saw

but more profoundly!

In the dim

and never more

will my leaf stir

like him

like her

who went before

I’m on the ground.

See!

 

3.

I’m alone

and forlorn

for my owner

is gorn

the little tike

who never rode

on his bike!

(Let’s hope the

new one

sees more

of his bum!)

 

4.

I will give you

4

lines on

2

legs

naked I’m nobody

even dressed

I’ve no body

just pegs.

 

5.

Like teeth but too

big to fit under

the pillow

take heed and

tell, sir

be sure to read well,

sir!

Loose and red

we’re piled

near a

willow.

 

6.

We’re of a similar

shape to bricks

but less for walls

and more for licks

in stalls if in

tho’ rather fed out

than in

to quadrapeds

but we’ve made

beds, it’s true

to those

like you –

being no stranger

to the manger.

 

7.

Some say that we

stick out like

bollocks on a dog

but we’re filled

with stuff that’d

please a frog

and green to boot!

and round and

mute!

If we’ve lied,

well, there

wouldn’t be

a water-slide!

 

8.

This hunt is getting

rude now

you’ll find the next clue

lewd now dude

no, not clean,

but at the

pooh

machine!

 

9.

If you think that’s

yuck

now this one’s really

rotten

we contain the things

that don’t come out

your bottom –

let’s not spoil it

we’re not a toilet –

into us you put

what’s better off

forgotten

lucky there’s two of us

so you can fit

a

lot in.

 

10.

who is seven?

I am seven

years

in the ground

and from the ground

I reach to heaven.

Who is seven?

I am seven times

as big as you –

it’s my birthday too! –

and every year seven

times seven thieves

come in the wind and

steal my leaves –

my precious ruby leaves.

 

11.

You’ve learnt the word

“dreck”

and heard about pooh

well, I’m a wreck

full of pussy do.

If you want your

prize

do the thing you

despise

and dig in this

dinghy

for that special wee

thingy!

It’s hardly credible

but those little brown

treats you find

are not edible!