daddy, daddy, a monster is shitting in mummy’s mouth!

that’s no monster, that’s an angel.

daddy, daddy, why is an angel shitting mummy’s mouth?

that’s how they feed their young.

does that mean mummy’s going to be an angel?

of course, darling.

is she going to go up to heaven to live with the other angels?

one day, darling. One day all of us will be living with the angels.

but daddy, daddy!

what, darling?

I don’t want an angel to shit in my mouth.

one day, my darling. One day you’ll understand.

daddy, daddy, why is mummy crying?

because she’s so happy. Sometimes we cry when we are happy.

daddy, daddy, I don’t think it is an angel… daddy, daddy, why can’t you help mummy? A monster is shitting in her mouth. And she is crying.

she doesn’t want me to help her, darling.

why, daddy, why?

because she said so. She told me so. Before the angel came. It’s a good angel.

stop it, daddy!

it’s all right, my darling.

but, daddy, I think it’s hurting her. Stop it from hurting her, daddy!

I can’t, my darling.

why, daddy?

because she wants it to shit in her mouth, because it’s feeding her.

so she can grow up to be an angel?

that’s right, darling.

so she can be an angel and live up in heaven with the other angels?

that’s right, my darling.

I don’t want her to.

call to her, darling. See if you can stop it.


daddy, daddy, why can’t she hear me? Why can’t she see me?

maybe because she’s already half-way there, my darling.

I don’t want her to go, daddy! I don’t want her to go!

maybe mummy has someone that she wants to see in heaven. And she wants to go and visit them. Like on a holiday. And when she sees that they’re all right, she’ll come right back to us.

she won’t come back. I know she won’t come back.

you don’t know that.

nobody comes back from heaven. It’s when you’re dead.

darling, my darling one, mummy isn’t dead.

but she’s going to be an angel.

only for a little while. She’s going on a special angel holiday. Maybe she’s going to go and visit someone. And when she sees that they’re all right, she’ll come right back to us.

who, daddy? who is mummy going to visit?

someone very special. Just like you.

a girl? or a boy?

I don’t know, darling.

is it another angel, daddy?

maybe, my darling.

I think it’s a little girl angel.

do you, my darling?

maybe they’ll play games up in heaven, daddy.

maybe, darling.

why are you crying, daddy?

because I want her to stop it too, my darling.

this is the first time I’ve ever seen you crying, daddy.

no it’s not. You’ve seen me cry before.


yes. I’m sure you have.

no, I’ve never seen you cry before.

daddy, daddy, did mummy shit in the little girl angel’s mouth?

in a manner of speaking, my love.

did she know it was going to be an angel?

yes, my love.

does she want to feed it so it can grow up to be a big angel? As big as this? Or as big as THIS?

I think mummy knows it’s supposed to be a little angel.

as big as me – or smaller as me?


did it grow up in her tummy, daddy?

sort of, my love.

well, if it grew up in her tummy, her tummy would be as big as THIS.

smaller, my love.

daddy, why does mummy want to visit an angel?

because she loves it, my darling. She still loves it. Even if it’s an angel now.

does she love it more than me?

I don’t know, my darling.

if she loves it more than me then why doesn’t she just have another one?

I don’t know, my darling.

if she had a baby, she wouldn’t have to shit in its mouth to make it into an angel, would she, daddy?

no. She wouldn’t, my darling.

well, why doesn’t she just do that?

because she doesn’t want to, my darling. Not with me.

why, daddy?

because we’re too much as it is. Aren’t we, my love?

but you’ll look after me, won’t you daddy?

yes, my love.

I think it’s because of me.


because I always ask her to do things and tell her things to do.

but if she ever came back you’d make sure you asked me, wouldn’t you?

yes, daddy.

but, daddy, she taught me to do things, like how to brush my teeth and how to wash myself.

she taught you lots of things. Everything. Didn’t she, my sweet?


we’ll be all right, daddy.

I know, my sweet.

don’t worry, daddy.

I’m not, my sweet. I just miss her.