On a beach

I lay splayed out and breathless on a beach.
The sun drenched the sand with its rays.

I’d been lying out here for
who knew how long.

I had fooled myself that I was
sun-bathing.

I should do something,’ I thought.
I’ve got nothing to lose.’

I lay flat on my back
splayed out
and breathless
on a beach.

The sun drenched the sand with its rays.
The sea lapped the sand with its waves.

I’d been lying out here for who knew
how long.

I should do something,’ I thought.
I’ve got nothing to lose.’

Why could I do something only if
I had nothing to lose?

Perhaps I had everything to lose.
Perhaps.

I should do something, ‘ I thought.

Was my trial over
or was it still to begin?

Was I pegged out on the sand
waiting for the tide to come in and
drown me slowly? I would slowly drown.

Or were my hands and feet tied with rope?
Was I bound? I would slowly drown.

Had the storm cast me from the sea to
leave me washed up on the sand?

Had the storm cast me up on the sand
and left me broken, breathless
but miraculously alive?

Drenched by the rays of the sun.

How long could I fool myself
I was sun-bathing?

I should do something,’ I thought.
I’ve got nothing to lose.’

As long as I didn’t move a muscle,
it was quite pleasant to be lying out here
flat on my back.

The sun drenched the sand.
The sea lapped the sand.

I tried to catch my breath.