I love
it’s all I know
Dry yourself
Use my towel
The wind is cold
He’s there in the room
The room is dark
I think he’s going to scare me
I’m so afraid he is
I can’t sleep
I lie awake and
listen to him breathing
Dry your tears
Come to bed
I think,
Any minute now
My heart
the blood in my ears
The blue curtains
glow faintly
The shadow on the chair
Don’t watch me sleeping!
I’m crouched on a chair
ready to spring
crushed
I’m all about escalation
crushed
Shortly before dawn
he leaves
A draught moves the curtain
I love
I get up
and look out the window
on my way back to bed
I’m afraid to turn on the light
in the toilet
or to look in the mirror
in case
calculating
elbow fist
fist forearm elbow
Why does he enjoy scaring me?
the side of the kitchen
the floor of the bed
It’s all I know
hitting one covering the other
Then covering the hitting
with tiles
My man
part woman
my boy
part black
my woman
white
I sleep for a short time
without dreams
A blank period
I am not scared
Before I have to get up
and whatever the future
I cower
I speak
the fear
it can scarcely contain
Don’t let him come back
to wake me up,
please
Lock the door and
wrap the cool sheets
around my body
I miss
Tell him when you see him
There
in the next life,
if he’s going to talk to me suddenly
from the chair
or walk outside past the window
or stand behind me
when despite myself I look,
he should
soon.
calculating
how much glue
is in a fortnight
how many nights
in a square foot
He watches
My hand is deaf
My hammer hand
Don’t tell him
or else he’ll know
I said.
Listen
it’s not you he wants to scare
I love
the blood pounds
at the door
the light leaks out
The wind is cold
