Bruce Petty said it, something like: the political (& political-artistic) situations we would satirise now so closely resemble the satire that we are, as effectively as in any totalitarian regime, silenced. Stupid, stupid silence.

… the above-named today turned down my application for a a grant to write Love Project 9.

I am a victim of hope: a year’s worth of planning and preparation … not the entirety pinned on this one funding round but … enough riding on it as a source of legitimation, for the work done and that projected, to lead me to wonder and to be amazed and to ask those charges that the roots of failure lie in my suppression of good will, my critical disavowal, my judgemental and cynical negativity be dropped once and for all … since this has been the year to change my heart: I have examined it for duplicitous emotion; I have chased out the traitors and with the thieves I’ve wished for only good … The bars of the cage that held me back from achieving success weren’t real but they may as well have been.

To those who wrote in support or agreed to be named in the application to Creative New Zealand for funding, sorry. And thank you. But, sorry.

O my poor heart … will lead you to the body of the project application. I look forward to your suggestion,should you find here something worth resurrecting.

Cath Cardiff, Manager, Arts Development writes:

Your application to the July-October 2008 funding round has been considered by the Arts Board of Creative New Zealand. We [sic] regret to inform you that this proposal has been declined for funding.

The Arts Board made funding decisions based on artistic merit and strategic priorities informed by recommendations from independent assessment committees in literature, visual arts, craft/object art, music, dance, theatre and festivals. [really] A list of the committees …

As usual the funds in this round were highly contested by a large quantity and diverse range of proposals. For project funding this round the Arts Board received 422 applications seeking $9.8 million. [sic] A total of $3,796, 196 was offered to 151 projects. The Theatre Committee assessed 61 applications, requesting $2,218,999. $860,260 was offered [really] to support 22 projects. A full list of the … approvals … our website

Information about common issues [!] with project funding applications is available on our website [sic – because address inoperative] …

Yours sincerely