She waits on the stairs. She waits cradling his head.
How could do this to me? She says. How could you fucking do this to me?!
He made her care so much. He made her care so much for herself and her care
that she caved in.
At the top of the stairs, on the precipice, she caved in. He watched her fall slowly.
He watched her miss an imaginary step. He saw here hope leave her. He saw her realise that she’d failed herself and her care.
Falling in slow motion before his eyes. Falling into space. Hugging herself with the earth above her. Unable to fit her arms around it. Unable to fit her arms around her. Uselessly gesturing to him that she was trying to protect herself. Trying to protect herself with useless gestures and signs of protection he couldn’t understand.
Falling in slow motion before his eyes over many months. Falling away from the earth into his space. Falling away from the earth into his darkness.
How could you do this to me? He said. How could you fucking do this to me? Don’t you care?!
She sits on the stairs cradling his head. Let me go, he says.
I’m an emotional plagiarist, she says. I care too much to hear you say that – let me go.
… I care too much for myself and my care to give it to someone like me
… I care too much for myself and my care to give in to someone like you
… if we are alone we will eat each other up
Space is limitless. Darkness total, he answers.
… this is our food
Falling slowly away she doesn’t reach out to him. Where is your light? She says.
Before his eyes, he doesn’t reach out to her. You see! I don’t reach out to you: we won’t eat each other up!
… space was limitless. Darkness total
She stops falling. She sits on the stairs. She cradles his head.
Don’t let me go, he says. I will eat you up.
Space is limitless. Darkness total. This is their food.