hommangerie

for a kind of record, parts IV & V

IV.

I am very happy

you could hear the risk in his voice

he rubs his penis across her waist

the danger

 

what did you say to me

did you say

too much

too much of looking over the precipice

too much of walking around and around

in these dark rooms where I live out empty days

Cavafy

 

and the stripper

with her hair glossy running

down around her breast

curling into the hollow

of his loin

in a bituminous river

 

approach

retreat

take hold of yourself

and girded against the unexpected

smell

get a good grip

 

the small of her back

wipe your finger

pull the latch

open the window

a light breeze

with the tang

of revelation

 

V.

but I was just angry

every night

No not every night

every night and always

every night

 

what happened last week

anyway

every night

I can smell dogshit

 

my body boils

is the pit

in miniature

a model of hell

no light escapes

and the light in the cave is not reassuring

although it dances has the highpitch whine

of a blade of a wire a single strand spitting

in a vacuum

no relief just the superimposition of totem

animals one over another over another over

another incessant pull gravity and

the vanity of man

 

who should commit suicide tomorrow or tonight

who should give himself up to the pull of the Platonic

the shadow does not me

shadow does not

not me

 

what expression escapes

mortal danger

or should I say personal

but vanity should emote

 

I should kill myself tomorrow or tonight

I should take my life

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celebrating Santiago Gamboa, as well as stating the obvious & wondering once again at the sentimental Left, melting even before it gets to the battlefield–were we fantasizing? grinning stupidly, terrifyingly

…the reasons someone who’s about to shoot another man thinks he has may vary, but the deed is the same, someone will press the trigger, and when the lead breaks the skin and drills into the cranium and damages a lobe and perforates it and opens a path in the brain, a life with a history and past will be cut short and a body transformed into a bloodstained mass that will fall to the ground, and that fact, which is horrible in itself and can’t in any way be explained or justified, makes all the reasons equivalent; in the middle of the twentieth century it was ideologies, then it was land or the control of resources, reserves of hydrocarbons. …

President Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin talk during the family photo session at the APEC Summit in Danang, Vietnam, on Saturday.

Do you know the contemporary name for perversity? It’s democracy. If a chimpanzee with a drum becomes popular and amusing, he could be elected president.

– Santiago Gamboa, Night Prayers, trans. Howard Curtis, Europa Editions, 2016, p. 222

…the world wasn’t made for harmony and kindness, but quite the contrary, for confrontation. The world is a boxing ring, a battlefield. And you don’t go to battlefields with smiles and soft words, no, sir, you go armed to the teeth.

– ibid., p. 232

We played with madness (were we fantasizing?) until the afternoon gave my mouth the terrifying smile of the idiot.

– ibid., p. 290

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on a kind of record, II

II.

she said

I’m going to talk to you quite openly

and she

apologised for her vulgarity

 

is there a way onward

Juana

by Gamboa

the western cordillero

 

a patch of vomit

made up of the lights

of Bogotá

 

cupped in the hands

of a thousand digits

 

figures of bone

walk the western

horizon

 

still recognisable

moving without acknowledgement

you are watching

 

relations of yours

I ask

 

you trap me in fucking

you trap me

we shut up

we know

 

the identity

we need to show

indifference to

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notes on to a kind of record I.

this in common

poem is problem

and this

 

very important

a sort of program

 

gathering of words

conjunctives

as substantives

of types

of syntactical moments

of verbal tonalities

 

the alternate face

here widened

 

towards the obscure

scintillating

 

with certainty of a

phenomenon

 

not a thought but

process of thought

mirror-like

 

refraction

of the human

 

end

in itself

end

of itself

 

end

germ

 

of an infinity

of horrors

 

reserves in one’s thoughts

hidden intention

charlatanism

addressing an audience

addressing a public

 

whom shall I kill

 

synthesis of all the vertigoes

dictation of memoirs

 

history of mind

absurd by what it seeks

 

great by what it finds

every beginning

 

coincidence

I don’t know what

 

sort of contact between all

and nothing

 

three words

two words

 

the tomb of the poet Edward

this girl couldn’t be buried

buried on a moonlit night

 

the dead girl’s name

Narcissa

who found himself so

in his reflection

 

the cyclical and repetitive functions of life

take love where it has never been

to the end

of the will to

 

killed his puppet

his puppet killed

in favor of a poetry

 

claiming autonomy

through critical self-reference

 

claims

to repressing the developments of intelligence

to depreciating the value of pure research

to taking often atrocious measures against

who consecrated themselves to these things

 

to favoring

even as far as endowed chairs and laboratories

 

worshippers of the idol

to the detriment

independent creators

spiritual richness

 

and they have imposed on the arts

on the sciences

the utilitarian ends which a power

 

founded on declamations and terror

pursues

 

praise of Bergson

 

sameness within vast

elusive differences

 

[all of which, on the poet Paul Valéry

1871-1945, you can read here.]

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to a kind of record

I.

we all looked and could see nothing

what are we supposed to see

what are we supposed to see

the inexhaustible

the inexhaustible

horizon

 

torn from our hands

Valéry said

I cannot repeat

don’t be so dramatic

the sun fell

in time

the sun fell

 

we spoke of things

one spoke

in the dark

outside

another answered

Valéry

you have to answer for

you have to answer for

him

 

do you have the answer

hidden

in a fold of skin

hidden

between your lips

hiding

behind

the everyday

 

around him

grew the desert

the desert grew

and every day

there

there you are

knots in his fingers

his whole rag head

rag and jag

Buster was not his name

Buster she said

was not his name

 

she whispers

come here

wraps you

wraps you

in grease proof paper

and she wraps you

there you are

well at dawn

there you lie

tied up with a string

a prayer

you cannot answer for

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from the David Byrne playlist, but worthy of your independent consideration. Please see & hear under here

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a soundtrack playlist after my own heart

click beautiful click

David Byrne presents one year later … romantic conflagration of the first third of 1000 days …

http://davidbyrne.com/radio/david-byrne-presents-one-year-later

best,

Simon

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“Everyone is delighted that Dr Johnson’s writers’ prayer is the one that will be used as an epitaph for the print age.”

O God, who hast hitherto supported me, enable me to proceed in this labour, and in the whole task of my present state; that when I shall render up at the last day an account of the talent committed to me, I may receive pardon by the grace of God. Amen.

— in Enrique Vila-Matas’s Dublinesque, Trans. Harvey, R. & McLean, A., Vintage Books, 2013, pp. 232-233

“No one, except Riba, can understand what is going on when Walter then suddenly starts weeping inconsolably. In theory, he’s not a writer and so this problem linked to literary talent and work shouldn’t affect him. But the thing is, even if he were, it wouldn’t really be very logical for him to start weeping like this. After all, no writer has ever been overwhelmed by a single tear. But Riba knows that’s precisely where the clue to solving this enigma lies. Writers don’t cry for themselves or for other writers. Only someone like Walter who sees everything from the outside and who has a special intelligence and sensitivity can understand how much one should cry whenever one sees a writer.”

— Ibid., pp. 233-234

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the string section (or, the myth of anthropogenic bipedalism)

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destroyed wisdom

dear diary, today I like this phrase “romantic materialism.” today I ordered Elizabeth Grosz’s The Incorporeal and John M. Harrison’s Viriconium. …today I am nervous. today I am suspended between two ideas: one is, against immaterial labour and semiocapitalism, the idea of the place of care, care of the body, its pleasures and needs; it is an idea of the palliative industry, in which all media participate; capital care functions to feed on an industrial scale those who can afford to live inside it; it functions to distract from the suffering and from the desire and from the passions of the body, with easy listening, predigested package language-worlds, of viewing, touching, tasting, light-comedic mediatised commodities, popularised pulp & pap, lubricated & comfort sex; it is the service culture of safety & health; its wealth is the investment in an aging population even as it is being born, being born into an aging population, a universal retirement village and hospice is where you will live, dance occasionally, nod off, eat, shit & fuck, if you are born as one of the lucky ones. The other idea is postmodernism. It comes after modernism because it defrags it into the universal agreement to believe in price without cost, in the nonsymbolic exchange of money as the value of all values. Where modernism left you looking at yourself looking, postmodernism recognises that look–priceless… so destroyed wisdom today is my subjectline, the umbilicus of deconstruction from which I hang

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